Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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