Just fell off a train. Bad.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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