you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
