Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
