I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
