We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
