So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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