What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
