i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
