I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
