I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Can i not drive my cunt home
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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