Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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