once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
