So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
