dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
