there's paper in my vomit.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
