new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
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