i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
