You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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