you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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