What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
