I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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