And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I have demons in me.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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