You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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