Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
