So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
