You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
