Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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