This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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