Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
