just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
