she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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