you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
