we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
