I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
