Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
operation have a gay friend backfired
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
