I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
