I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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