Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
