You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
