i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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