don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
