I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
