I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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