i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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