Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
