I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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