Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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