O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
