I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
